The Host Chapter 25: Compelled

A nonher week passed, maybe two-there seemed little point in keeping track of period here, where it was so irrelevant-and things moreover got stranger for me.I worked with the humans every day, however not endlessly with Jeb. w abhorver days Ian was with me, some days mendelevium, and some days only Jamie. I weeded fields, kneaded bread, and scrubbed counters. I carried water, change shape onion soup, washed clothes in the far end of the black pool, and burned my hands fashioning that acidic soap. Every adept did their part, and since I had no right to be here, I move to work twice as hard as the others. I could not earn a place, I knew that, only I tried to beat my presence as light a burden as possible.I got to k outright a little most the humans around me, mostly just by listening to them. I well-educated their names, at least. The caramel-skinned woman was named Lily, and she was from Philadelphia. She had a dry sense of humor and got a hanker well with every cardin al because she never got ruffled. The upstart man with the bristly black hair, Wes, sta cherry-red at her a lot, but she never seemed to notice that. He was only nineteen, and hed escaped from Eureka, Montana. The sleepy-eyed stick was named Lucina, and her two boys were Isaiah and Freedom-Freedom had been born right here in the caves, de humpred by Doc. I didnt see much of these three it seemed that the mother kept her children as separate from me as was possible in this limited space. The balding, red-cheeked man was Trudys husband his name was Geoffrey. They were often with another older man, Heath, who had been Geoffreys best friend since archean childhood the three had escaped the invasion to breakher. The pallid man with the white hair was Walter. He was sick, but Doc didnt k comparable a shot what was wrong with him-there was no appearance to find out, not without labs and tests, and even if Doc could make the problem, he had no medicine to treat it. As the symptoms pr ogressed, Doc was starting to infer it was a seduce of fuelcer. This pained me-to watch someone actually dying from something so easily fixed. Walter tired easily but was always cheerful. The white-blond woman-her eyes contrastingly dark-whod brought water to the others that depression day in the field was Heidi. Travis, John, Stanley, Reid, Carol, Violetta, Ruth Ann I knew all the names, at least. There were thirty-five humans in the colony, with six of them gone on the raid, Jared included. cardinal humans in the caves without delay, and one mostly unwel survey alien.I in any case learned more around my neighbors.Ian and Kyle shared the cave on my hallway with the two real doors propped over the entrance. Ian had begun bunking with Wes in another corridor in protest of my presence here, but hed moved back after just two nights. The other nearby caves had also gone vacant for a composition. Jeb told me the occupants were afraid of me, which do me laugh. Were twenty-nine r attlesnakes afraid of a solitary field mouse?Now Paige was back, next door, in the cave she shared with her partner, Andy, whose absence she mourned. Lily was with Heidi in the starting signal cave, with the flowered sheets Heath was in the second, with the duct-taped cardboard and Trudy and Geoffrey were in the third, with a striped quilt. Reid and Violetta were one cave far down the hall than mine, their privacy protected by a stained and threadbare oriental carpet.The one-fourth cave in this corridor be coarseed to Doc and Sharon, and the fifth to Maggie, but none of these three had returned.Doc and Sharon were partnered, and Maggie, in her uncommon moments of sarcastic humor, teased Sharon that it had taken the end of humanity for Sharon to find the perfect man every mother destinyed a doctor for her daughter.Sharon was not the girl Id seen in Melanies memories. Was it the historic period of living alone with the heavy Maggie that had changed her into a more brightly col ored version of her mother? Though her relationship with Doc was newer to this initiation than I was, she showed none of the softening effects of new love.I knew the duration of that relationship from Jamie-Sharon and Maggie rarely forgot when I was in a room with them, and their conver sit downion was guarded. They were even the strongest opposition, the only people here whose ignoring me continued to olfactory sensation aggressively hostile.Id asked Jamie how Sharon and Maggie had gotten here. Had they found Jeb on their own, beaten Jared and Jamie here? He seemed to understand the real question had Melanies finale effort to find them been entirely a waste?Jamie told me no. When Jared had showed him Melanies last note, rationalizeed that she was gone-it took him a moment to be able to speak again after that word, and I could see in his face what this moment had make to them both-theyd gone to look for Sharon themselves. Maggie had held Jared at the point of an antique sword while he tried to explain it had been a close thing.It had not taken long with Maggie and Jared working together for them to decipher Jebs riddle. The four of them had gotten to the caves onward Id moved from Chicago to San Diego.When Jamie and I spoke of Melanie, it was not as difficult as it should have been. She was always a part of these conversations-soothing his pain, smoothing my awkwardness-though she had little to tell apart. She rarely spoke to me anymore, and when she did it was muted now and then I wasnt for sure if I really get windd her or just my own idea of what she might suppose. But she make an effort for Jamie. When I heard her, it was always with him. When she didnt speak, we both felt her there.Why is Melanie so quiet now? Jamie asked me late one night. For once, he wasnt grilling me about Spiders and Fire-Tasters. We were both tired-it had been a long day pulling carrots. The small of my back was in knots.Its hard for her to talk. It takes so much more ef fort than it takes you and me. She doesnt have anything she wants to say that badly.What does she do all the epoch?She listens, I think. I guess I dont know.Can you hear her now?No.I yawned, and he was quiet. I thought he was asleep. I drifted in that direction, too.Do you think shell go away? Really gone? Jamie suddenly whispered. His voice caught on the last word.I was not a liar, and I dont think I could have lied to Jamie if I were. I tried not to think about the implications of my feelings for him. Because what did it fuddled if the greatest love Id ever felt in my nine lives, the first true sense of family, of maternal instinct, was for an alien life-form? I shoved the thought away.I dont know, I told him. And then, because it was true, I added, I hope not.Do you corresponding her like you like me? Did you used to hate her, like she hated you?Its divers(prenominal) than how I like you. And I never really hated her, not even in the beginning. I was very afraid of her, and I was angry that because of her I couldnt be like everyone else. But Ive always, always esteem strength, and Melanie is the strongest person Ive ever known.Jamie laughed. You were afraid of her?You dont think your sister can be scary? Remember the time you went too far up the canyon, and when you came home late she threw a r senescent hissy fit, according to Jared?He chuckled at the memory. I was pleased, having distracted him from his painful question.I was eager to keep the peace with all my new companions in any way I could. I thought I was willing to do anything, no subject field how backbreaking or smelly, but it turned out I was wrong.So I was thinking, Jeb said to me one day, maybe two weeks after everyone had calmed down.I was beginning to hate those words from Jeb.Do you remember what I was saying about you maybe teaching a little here?My answer was curt. Yes.Well, how bout it?I didnt have to think it through. No.My refusal sent an unexpected pang of guilt through me. Id n ever refused a avocation before. It felt like a selfish thing to do. Obviously, though, this was not the like. The souls would have never asked me to do something so suicidal.He frowned at me, scrunching his caterpillar eyebrows together. Why not?How do you think Sharon would like that? I asked him in an even voice. It was just one example, but perhaps the most forceful.He nodded, still frowning, acknowledging my point.Its for the greater good, he grumbled.I snorted. The greater good? Wouldnt that be shooting me?Wanda, thats shortsighted, he said, arguing with me as if my answer had been a serious attempt at persuasion. What we have here is a very unusual opportunity for learning. It would be wasteful to squander that.I really dont think anyone wants to learn from me. I dont mind talking to you or Jamie -Doesnt matter what they want, Jeb insisted. Its whats good for them. Like chocolate versus broccoli. Ought to know more about the universe-not to mention the new tenants of our pl anet.How does it patron them, Jeb? Do you think I know something that could destroy the souls? Turn the tide? Jeb, its over.Its not over while were still here, he told me, grinning so I knew he was teasing me again. I dont expect you to turn traitor and give us some super-weapon. I just think we should know more about the world we live in.I flinched at the word traitor. I couldnt give you a weapon if I wanted to, Jeb. We dont have some great weakness, an Achilles heel. No archenemies out there in space who could come to your aid, no viruses that will wipe us out and leave you standing. Sorry.Dont sweat it. He made a fist and tapped it playfully against my arm. You might be surprised, though. I told you it gets boring in here. People might want your stories more than you think.I knew Jeb would not leave it alone. Was Jeb capable of conceding defeat? I doubted it.At mealtimes I usually sat with Jeb and Jamie, if he was not in school or busy elsewhere. Ian always sat near, though not really with us. I could not fully accept the idea of his self-appointed berth as my bodyguard. It seemed too good to be true and thus, by human philosophy, clearly false.A few days after Id refused Jebs request to teach the humans for their own good, Doc came to sit by me during the even out meal.Sharon remained where she was, in the corner farthest from my usual place. She was alone today, without her mother. She didnt turn to watch Doc walking toward me. Her hopeful hair was wound into a high bun, so I could see that her neck was stiff, and her shoulders were hunched, tense and unhappy. It made me want to leave at once, before Doc could say whatever he have in mindt to say to me, so that I could not be considered in collusion with him.But Jamie was with me, and he took my hand when he truism the known panicked look come into my eyes. He was developing an uncanny ability to sense when I was turning skittish. I sighed and stayed where I was. It should probably have bothered me more that I was such a slave to this childs wishes.How are things? Doc asked in a casual voice, sliding onto the counter next to me.Ian, a few feet down from us, turned his body so it looked like he was part of the group.I shrugged.We turn soup today, Jamie announced. My eyes are still stinging.Doc held up a pair of bright red hands. Soap.Jamie laughed. You win.Doc gave a mocking bow from the waist, then turned to me. Wanda, I had a question for you He let the words trail off.I raised my eyebrows.Well, I was wondering Of all the incompatible planets youre familiar with, which species is physically the closest to humankind?I blinked. Why?Just good old-fashioned biological curiosity. I guess Ive been thinking about your Healers Where do they get the knowledge to cure, rather than just treat symptoms, as you said? Doc was speaking louder than necessary, his mild voice carrying farther than usual. Several people looked up-Trudy and Geoffrey, Lily, WalterI enwrapped my arms tightly a round myself, assay to take up less space. Those are two different questions, I murmured.Doc smiled and gestured with one hand for me to proceed.Jamie squeezed my hand.I sighed. The Bears on the Mists Planet, probably.With the claw beasts? Jamie whispered. I nodded.How are they akin(predicate)? Doc prodded.I rolled my eyes, feeling Jebs direction in this, but continued. Theyre close to mammals in more ways. Fur, warm-blooded. Their blood isnt exactly the same as yours, but it does essentially the same job. They have similar emotions, the same need for societal interaction and creative outlets -Creative? Doc leaned forward, fascinated-or feigning fascination. How so?I looked at Jamie. You know. Why dont you tell Doc?I might get it wrong.You wont.He looked at Doc, who nodded.Well, see, they have these direful hands. Jamie was enthusiastic near immediately. Sort of double-jointed-they can curl both ways. He flexed his own fingers, as if seek to bend them backward. One side is sof t, like my palm, but the other side is like razors They cut the ice-ice sculpting. They make cities that are all crystal castles that never melt Its beautiful, isnt it, Wanda? He turned to me for backup.I nodded. They see a different range of colors-the ice is full of rainbows. Their cities are a point of pride for them. Theyre always trying to make them more beautiful. I knew of one Bear who we called well, something like Glitter Weaver, but it sounds better in that language, because of the way the ice seemed to know what he wanted and shaped itself into his dreams. I met him once and saw his creations. Thats one of my most beautiful memories.They dream? Ian asked quietly.I smiled wryly. non as vividly as humans.How do your Healers get their knowledge about the physiology of a new species? They came to this planet prepared. I watched it start-watched the terminal patients walk out of the infirmary whole A frown etched a V-shaped crease into Docs narrow forehead. He hated the invad ers, like everyone, but unlike the others, he also envied them.I didnt want to answer. Everyone was listening to us by this point, and this was no pretty fairytale about ice-sculpting Bears. This was the story of their defeat.Doc waitressed, frowning.They they take samples, I muttered.Ian grinned in understanding. Alien abductions.I ignored him.Doc pursed his lips. Makes sense.The silence in the room reminded me of my first time here.Where did your kind begin? Doc asked. Do you remember? I mean, as a species, do you know how you evolved?The Origin, I answered, nodding. We still live there. Its where I was born.Thats kind of special, Jamie added. Its rare to meet someone from the Origin, isnt it? Most souls try to stay there, right, Wanda? He didnt wait for my response. I was beginning to regret answering his questions so thoroughly each night. So when someone moves on, it makes them almost like a celebrity? Or like a member of a royal family.I could feel my cheeks getting warm.Its a cool place, Jamie went on. Lots of clouds, with a bunch of different-colored layers. Its the only planet where the souls can live outside of a host for very long. The hosts on the Origin planet are really pretty, too, with sort of wings and lots of tentacles and wide silver eyes.Doc was leaning forward with his face in his hands. Do they remember how the host-parasite relationship was formed? How did the colonization begin?Jamie looked at me, shrugging.We were always that way, I answered slowly, still unwilling. As far back as we were intelligent enough to know ourselves, at least. We were discovered by another species-the Vultures, we call them here, though more for their personalities than for their looks. They were not kind. Then we discovered that we could bond with them just as we had with our original hosts. Once we controlled them, we made use of their technology. We took their planet first, and then followed them to the Dragon Planet and the Summer World-lovely places whe re the Vultures had also not been kind. We started colonizing our hosts reproduced so much slower than we did, and their life spans were short. We began exploring farther into the universeI trailed off, conscious of the some eyes on my face. Only Sharon continued to look away.You speak of it almost as if you were there, Ian noted quietly. How long ago did this happen?After dinosaurs lived here but before you did. I was not there, but I remember some of what my mothers mothers mother remembered of it.How old are you? Ian asked, leaning toward me, his brilliant blue eyes penetrating.I dont know in Earth years.An estimate? he pressed.Thousands of years, maybe. I shrugged. I lose track of the years spent in hibernation.Ian leaned back, stunned.Wow, thats old, Jamie breathed.But in a very real sense, Im younger than you, I murmured to him. Not even a year old. I feel like a child all the time.Jamies lips pulled up slightly at the corners. He liked the idea of being more mature than I wa s.Whats the aging process for your kind? Doc asked. The natural life span?We dont have one, I told him. As long as we have a healthy host, we can live forever.A low murmur-angry? frightened? revolt? I couldnt tell-swirled around the edges of the cave. I saw that my answer had been unwise I understood what these words would mean to them.Beautiful. The low, furious word came from Sharons direction, but she hadnt turned.Jamie squeezed my hand, seeing again in my eyes the desire to bolt. This time I gently pulled my hand free.Im not hungry anymore, I whispered, though my bread sat barely affected on the counter beside me. I hopped down and, hugging the wall, made my escape.Jamie followed right behind me. He caught up to me in the big garden plaza and handed me the remains of my bread.It was real interesting, honest, he told me. I dont think anyones too cut into.Jeb put Doc up to this, didnt he?You tell good stories. Once everyone knows that, theyll want to hear them. Just like me and Jeb.What if I dont want to tell them?Jamie frowned. Well, I guess then you shouldnt. But it seems like you dont mind telling me stories.Thats different. You like me. I could have said, You dont want to kill me, but the implications would have upset him.Once people get to know you, theyll all like you. Ian and Doc do.Ian and Doc do not like me, Jamie. Theyre just morbidly curious.Do so.Ugh, I groaned. We were to our room by now. I shoved the screen out and threw myself onto the mattress. Jamie sat down less forcefully beside me and looped his arms around his knees.Dont be mad, he pleaded. Jeb means well.I groaned again.It wont be so bad.Docs going to do this every time I go in the kitchen, isnt he?Jamie nodded sheepishly. Or Ian. Or Jeb.Or you.We all want to know.I sighed and rolled onto my stomach. Does Jeb have to get his way every single time?Jamie thought for a moment, then nodded. Pretty much, yeah.I took a big bite of bread. When I was done chewing, I said, I think Ill eat in here from now on.Ians going to ask you questions tomorrow when youre weeding the spinach. Jebs not making him-he wants to.Well, thats wonderful.Youre pretty good with sarcasm. I thought the parasites-I mean the souls-didnt like negative humor. Just the happy stuff.Theyd learn pretty quick in here, kid.Jamie laughed and then took my hand. You dont hate it here, do you? Youre not miserable, are you?His big chocolate-colored eyes were troubled.I pressed his hand to my face. Im fine, I told him, and at that moment, it was entirely the truth.